I cannot emphasise how much ladies wished men knew these things, even the best of men fail to understand some of ladies’ basic needs. These things are no big deal but life would be so much better if men knew them.
1. Don’t pretend to listen
Don’t just pretend to listen to what we have to say. We talk to you because we trust you and sometimes we just need moral and emotional support. It’s very disappointing when we are fretting about something and you have nothing to say except, ‘huh’ indulge in the conversation it makes us feel loved and special.
2. Pamper us when we are sick
Please make us feel cared for when we are sick. We know that you are very concerned when you say, ‘take your medicines and go to sleep, I’ll handle everything else’ but that’s just not enough, we need your attention. Treat us like a little baby when we not well.
3. Hear her out
We understand that you guys have though job and it’s hard to be all charged up when you get home after a tiring day. The thing is we have been working all day long too and we love you and there is no one in the world we would rather talk too. Us, women, need to vent out so please, listen to what we have to say. It would mean so much to us.
4. Help out in the house
Yes we know you have a job but we get tired of going through the same routine over and over again. Help us out around the house once a week; on weekends we really need a break!
5. Run errands
Help us run errands, don’t be selfish. Throw the trash out, pick up groceries, drop the children to school the list goes on. Just help us out a bit, trust me if you had to manage a job and a house you would appreciate us a whole lot more!
6. Share the load
Let us help you out, morally, financially and emotionally. Let us support you, there is no shame in asking your partner for help when you need it.
7. Don’t be a baby
You know you will always be our baby, but don’t be a baby all the time. Most of the time, we need aman. A fully functional grown man, who can take his own decisions and has the strength to take initiative, you know we will always be there to spoil you
8. Surprise us
Some times, just some times, do something amazing and surprise us. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, it about the thought you put into bring a smile on our face.
9. Don’t lie
Sh*t on the bed sheet and tell us, we can live with that, but don’t lie. Not only is it extremely immoral to tell lies. It makes us question the status of our relationship with you. It makes us feel guilty fro not giving you enough space and damages the bond of trust we share with you, so don’t just don’t lie.
10. Don’t think we are stupid
We are not stupid, just because we are women things are no different. Honestly, we deal with much more than you guys do. So respect us and our decisions.
11. Don’t sleep on the living room couch
You are heavy and it’s hard to wake you up once you are asleep and impossible to physically move you. We need our teddy bear to hug us and make us feel protected every night. It’s the best feeling in the world.
12. Leave space on the bed
Leave some space in the bed for us, we exist too you know. Sometimes we seriously consider pushing you off the bed.
Sex is a topic that gets everyone’s attention but what we rarely discuss is what leads to it. Some ladies are so keen on kissing till your lips fall off. While bumping noses and crashing teeth can be a major problem for kissers, there is much more than meets the eye.
Wendy Hill, Dean of the faculty and a professor of neuroscience at Lafayette College, found that couples who kissed for 15 minutes while listening to music experienced major chemical changes. Their levels of oxytocin (responsible for bonding) and cortisol (associated with stress) changed dramatically.
Kissing can dramatically improve your stress levels and health, not to mention help you snag the love of your life.
Here are five ways you can transform your kissing skills:
1. Take it Slow
Sloppy, uncoordinated kisses are normally pretty awful. You’ll get a much better response if you allow yourself to become sensual. Start by gently kissing the object of your affection on the lips without engaging your tongue. Do this a handful of times to create anticipation and a longing for more. When things heat up, let a bit of tongue slip into their mouth. Gently rub their tongue with yours. You can also kiss around the mouth — the top lip, then the bottom lip, and see where that leads.
2. Get Vocal & Physical
Being vocal can definitely steam up a kiss. Letting out even a tiny moan while your mouths are touching can really increase the eroticism. Don’t forget your hands too, they can make the difference between an average kiss and an awesome kiss. Slowly stroke your partner’s body–their low back, face, hair, and shoulders. Whatever feels good for you.
3. Mix It Up
When it comes to kissing, like anything, it’s best to keep things inventive. Whether it’s chewing on the lower lip, sucking their top lip, tickling ears or earlobes, or leaving a trail of soft kisses along your partner’s neck, taking the kisses for a little kiss-trip beyond the mouth is a thing of delight and passionate exploration.
4. Be Confident
A confident kisser always delivers the best results. Be prepared with fresh breath, and the belief that you can transform the moment from so so to super-sensual. If in doubt, remember, if they’re kissing you it’s because they’re attracted to you, so embrace it. Listen to your partner’s subtle cues and know that pleasing them is the best confidence builder you can get.
Do you suspect that your partner is cheating? If so, how do you find out if your suspicions are warranted? Simply asking someone is seldom effective. After all, the very act of cheating suggests that you may be dealing with someone who’s dishonest. If they’re willing to cheat, they’re also most likely going to lie about it.
So let’s look at 4 effective ways to catch a partner who’s cheating on you.
1. Check the phone.
Frequent calls or texts are one of the most obvious signs of cheating. If you have a chance to scroll through text messages and photos, you might find all the evidence you need within seconds. On the other hand, if your partner is diligent about not leaving the phone around, this may also be a sign of cheating Partner. A good time to check the phone is when it’s being charged. Of course, if your partner is careful, he may be hiding a second phone.
2. Change your routine.
One way to catch your cheating partner in the act is by coming home at an unexpected time. You might also show up at his or her place of work unannounced. Keep in mind, however, that it can be shocking to actually catch your partner with someone.
3.Be a social media spy.
One of the simplest ways to find evidence is to check the person’s Facebook/Instagram activity. Ideally, you should log onto the person’s actual account. Cheaters, however, are usually careful about hiding their passwords. You can often find clues, however, by doing some social media snooping from your own account. You may not be able to access private messages, but you can see if someone new is suddenly liking or commenting on everything your partner does. If so, check this person’s profile. If your partner is careless, you may even find photos of the two of them together.
4. Check online reviews.
If your partner likes to review restaurants, movies or other businesses listed on sites, you may be able to find clues of cheating. If you see reviews of places you’ve never been together, this may be where he or she is going with someone else.
With this said and done, what is the idea of staying in a committed relationship with someone you can’t trust. If you have doubt of his fidelity then you need to let him/her go before it gets to marriage.
Every day, our experiences affect them. Sunshine or rain clouds, our favorite song on the radio or an angry email at work—all of these can affect our mood, change the way we feel and influence the way we think.
The problems come when we allow those feelings to dictate how we deal with others.
Why? Because emotions can cause us to react differently in a certain moment than we would normally. If we’re feeling especially happy, we might agree to do something we wouldn’t otherwise. If we’re feeling very down or upset, we might unintentionally take those feelings out on someone.
Emotional intelligence, also known as EI or EQ (for emotional intelligence quotient), describes a person’s ability to recognize emotions, to understand their powerful effect, and to use that information to guide thinking and behavior.
When we speak about getting our emotions “under control,” we are usually thinking about controlling our response to emotions. This isn’t easy—but it can be done with practice.
So how can emotional intelligence help your relationships in everyday life?
One incredibly useful skill is that of seeing the big picture.
In essence, seeing the big picture involves stepping back in an emotionally charged moment, and thinking about the consequences of our actions—both short and long-term.
Here’s how it works: If you receive an email that bothers you, step away before you reply. If a friend or family member does something frustrating, pause before you react.
Then, ask yourself questions like:
• How will my response affect my relationship with this person?
• Will I regret saying or doing this tomorrow? How about next week? Or next year?
Your relationships are like bridges between you and everyone else. Every day, you’re faced with moments that are charged with emotion. When you take a moment to see the big picture and adjust accordingly, you add another brick to strengthen and reinforce the bridge—instead of allowing those moments to slowly wear the bridge down, until it falls apart.
If your spouse uses any of the following, it could be a sign there are problems in your relationship. Please remember, none of these behaviors imply the relationship is broken.
If you both have even the smallest bit of love and determination to fix things, there is hope.
1. “You’re overreacting”
In the right context, this harmless sentence indicates he has lost empathy for you. When you express that you’re tired, or that you’ve had a long day, how does he react?
If he no longer listens, or he tells you you’re overreacting, it’s time to sit down and talk about it. Showing gratitude – and empathy when needed — for what each of you do for the other and for your children is essential for a unified marriage.
2. “I’m not interested”
You must be the most important thing in the life of your husband, and vice versa.
If he says he is no longer interested in something that was once important to you both, even if the phrase is just part of a discussion you are having, it needs addressing.
3. “I don’t want to talk about it”
Physical affection and communicating feelings between married couples are the two factors that differentiate us from other species. We are rational beings who think and then act.
When your husband won’t communicate and avoids talking about conflicts within your marriage, it paralyzes growth in your relationship.
Find the right time, and with gentleness and patience create a healthy environment where you can both talk.
4. “I don’t have to tell you where I was”
You should not be the jailer of your husband, and he shouldn’t be yours; but phrases like this imply secrecy or lack of respect.
Even when you’re married, you need independence. You need to be able to breathe freely; but telling your wife where you were is not losing that freedom.
In such situations it is important to talk to your husband as many times as it takes. This helps you both continue to rely on each other
5. “I wish I’d never met you”
This is probably the most devastating phrase anyone can hear. Feeling guilty for any bad thing that has happened to him since the day he met you is a burden no one likes to carry.
This phrase is usually used in a heated conversation, but it should never be taken lightly. Most people who use this phrase don’t really believe you are to blame for everything bad in their life; they just use it to hurt you.
The most important thing in a marriage is to establish the rule that whatever happens, and even if love ends, you will always show respect — respect for your spouse and respect for yourself..
You don’t need to feel guilty if you’re getting bored with your relationship. You just need to understand why you’re bored and do something about it! Relationships are tricky places to be in.
Sometimes, it makes you feel like the happiest person in the world and at other times, it spirals you back onto the ground and makes you wonder if you even want to be in one. Do you feel like you’re getting bored with your relationship?
You’re not the only person with those thoughts on your mind, so you really don’t have to feel guilty about it, even if your lover is head over heels in love with you.
Sometimes, these things just happen.
But should it come as a surprise to you if you get bored in love? Once you understand why you’re getting bored with your relationship, you can prevent it from ever happening again. And unless you truly understand the reasons behind the boredom, you’ll never really be able to enjoy a happy relationship without a bit of drama and boredom now and then.
The reasons for your boredom could be one of these, or all of them. If you can learn to eliminate these flaws or distractions from your life, you’d surely be able to overcome the boredom and enjoy a perfect relationship.
1 The daily routine.
Your relationship is a boring routine. It’s completely predictable and you know exactly what you’re going to do with each other every day of the week. When love starts to get monotonous, some of us can’t help but feel stifled like we’re stuck in a locked room.
2 The frenzied excitement.
Do you remember the last time both of you did something exciting together? When we’re in a relationship for a long time, we start to take surprises and excitement for granted. If you’re getting bored because the relationship doesn’t excite you anymore, do something about it.
3 The fragile foundation.
When two lovers fall in love, we always suggest that you take your time. Falling in love too quickly can build a romance on shaky grounds, especially if the reason both of you are together is because of one or two aspects, like great sex or a rebound relationship. Always take your time while dating someone before you fall in love or move in together.
4 Better opportunities.
Everywhere you look around, you see better dating potentials. You like your partner a lot, but somewhere deep inside, you feel like you’ve got the short end of the stick and deserve someone better.
If you feel this way, you really have no choice but to let go because you’ll never be happy with this person you’re dating unless you feel like an equal. Break up, go out and have fun. You may meet someone you deserve, someone who’s way better than your current partner. But keep your fingers crossed though.
5 Emotional affairs.
You may be having an emotional affair with a good friend or even a colleague at work, and not even know it! Do you find it easier to talk about your work or your personal problems with someone else but not with your partner? Unless you open up to your partner and communicate with them, you’d always feel disconnected and bored.
6 Sex is just boring.
Yes, it’s true. Sex can get rather monotonous after a few days, months or years. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around and bring the sizzle back in bed. If you find it more fun to think of excuses to avoid sex than actually have it, you’re more than just bored with your love life.
7 Special memories.
Special memories are everything in a relationship, just like it is in life. When you look back at your life, you remember it by the happy memories you have. The more the memories you can think of, the better and more worthwhile your life would feel.
Love works the same way. If you stop creating excitement and fond memories all the time, you’ll have nothing that’ll make your love feel special and wonderful.
Do you ever get tired of trying to explain something to your partner because it takes too long to go into all the details? This is exactly how couples lose communication in a relationship. They’re too bored to talk about the little things because they feel like it’s unimportant. But in reality, it’s the little things that actually count.
Planning your whole life together is the perfect way to prepare yourselves and the relationship for the future. But every now and then, both of you need a few moments of reckless madness to keep the relationship exciting. After all, a little detour from the straight path now and then always makes things a lot more exciting.
10 You miss being single.
This is a scary place to be, and you can never get over it unless you learn to deal with it. It may just be a passing phase, but unless you learn to cope with it, the thought will pop back into your head time and again.
When last did you have great sex?
Not regular sex. Not run-of-the-mill sex.
Not ‘sarewagba’ sex. I mean great sex.
Sex that made your belly flip.
Sex that made your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Sex that made your toes curl.
Sex that made you hear the Lord’s trumpet.
Sex that made your hair plait dada.
It’s been a while, right?
But have you thought about the reason for the dearth of great sex in this country? You love him. He loves you. So why the hell aren’t you guys having grade A sex?
Before I tell you the reason, let me challenge you to have
great sex with your man tonight.
To do that you’ll need a bowl
of Icecream, whipped cream and a Jagged Edge cd.
Put the cd in your cd player and let that cool, orgasm inducing music waft round the room.
Get yourself in the mood.
When he gets home, jump on him and tear off his shirt. Tie his hands to the bed with his tie.
Then proceed to the kitchen to get the bowl of Icecream.
Back to reality……..
Alas, all these can’t happen because Nepa has taken light and there’s no fuel in the generator.
Jagged Edge won’t play and your ice cream will melt. Heat will nearly kill you people and both of you will be cranky as hell.
Then you remember :”But Buhari promised us steady
electricity when he was campaigning during the last elections o
Jonathan & Buhari…..denying Nigerians the opportunity to have great sex since 2011.
Democracy the sex killer.
” Hi, I hate long distance relationship because its just you dating your device.”
We get it, long-distance relationship are tough. However, while the situation may not be ideal, it really can be as positive or negative an experience as you make it. If you choose today to be intentional about making this a positive experience, you will be amazed at how the closeness between you and your spouse grows.
Here are some suggestions that will go a long way.
1. Be romantic
Write handwritten love notes, smother them in kisses and cologne, and send them via snail mail (super romantic). Or send your spouse your favorite perfume or cologne so they can spray it on their pillow at night and think of you. Say “I love you,” “You are gorgeous,” and other compliments of that sort –OFTEN
2. Practice healthy communication
If ever there was a time to be a great communicator, it’s now. LISTEN! Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. This becomes even more important when your connection comes over the phone or internet. Come up with little phrases, code names, or other words that are significant between the two of you – those little things build friendship and are a great way to quickly communicate a special message, and will help strengthen your love for each other.
3. Find reasons to celebrate
Celebrate hump days, milestones, and other small and big achievements. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and holidays via Skype or other means. Set goals together and then motivate and celebrate each other’s progress daily.
4. Be loyal
Have an object/action that can remind you of your spouse (especially when you feel weak or vulnerable). This could be a trinket they gave you, your wedding ring, a picture, or just something you do (like tapping your heart with your fore-finger).
5. Send something thoughtful
Send gifts, pictures, care packages, and little things your spouse would love. Make homemade cards, advent calendars, memes, etc.
6. Try not to fight
Fighting long distance is the worst because the silent treatment can last forever. If you do fight, be quick to forgive, apologize, and say you’re sorry. Find humor in small things – share anything funny that happened in your day, or that you came across online.
7. Keep pictures of your spouse close by
Think of your spouse often – when your thoughts wander, let them wander to your spouse
Sexual harassment is defined by as the unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
If you think you’re being harassed, take these five steps:
1. State your objections clearly
Here’s a story of a lady who was once sexually offended
” I once attended a company offsite complete with trust falls and other physical group activities. At one point, with co-ed groups climbing over each other in yet another survival game, one of the male colleagues made a graphic remark about the women touching the men. I and another female colleague spoke up right away, “That’s not funny.” After the exercise, he apologized. From then on, he kept his same boorish humor but after work hours and not with his female colleagues” .
The situation may not resolve as cleanly as mine did but your reaction needs to be that clear. Don’t make a joke. Don’t stay silent. Don’t get mad – you want to diffuse the situation, not escalate it. A neutral voice is sufficient. This also goes for people who witness harassment – you can and should let the offender know the remarks or actions are unwelcome.
2. Document the unwanted activity
If you state your objection and the harassment continues, continue to state your objections but also document the specifics – date, time, place, details of what the offender did, your response, the offender’s reaction, and who else was present who might have witnessed what happened. You want to have this information available for others you will call in to help you because you already tried to fix the situation on your own and that isn’t working. You can and should get help.
3. Consult helpful outsiders
Start with your support system outside the company. Consult a mentor or friend in HR, and share the documented details.
You also want to look for support inside the company. Have you seen harassment of others? Are these colleagues willing to join your effort? Maybe a case has already been opened, and you can lend your support to that. What does your company policy guide state about how to report harassment? Typically, HR is the first step to make an official case, but you may want to start the dialogue with the offender’s boss.
4. Start an official case
If you don’t know the offender’s boss or aren’t comfortable dealing directly with that person, then start with HR. Your HR contact should open an investigation which will include speaking to the offender, that person’s boss and other potential witnesses to the offender’s behavior. Again, your documented details will come in handy here, so you really want to have all the activity captured.
Remember that these steps are helpful for all types of harassment, not just sexual harassment. Remember, too, that you are involved even if you are not the offender or the harassed: If you see bad behavior, you should call it out. If you are the manager of someone who is harassed or someone accused of offending, you need to take action immediately—listen with an open mind to both accounts, document as much as you can, and enlist HR support.